wake up!

wake up ziah! and read!

i have behavioural biology discussion tomorrow. let's hope i can speak up so everything i know does not come to waste.

anyway, my hp is rosak. sasak ku eh. udah ku tukar housing, rosak tia, nda kedangaran if ku telefon orang. always like this, hp ku yang lama lepas tukar housing rosak tia. arrghh!! now i am aiming to buy the cheapest monochrome phone, hahahaha. malas tah ku lagi eh kan spend money arah hp, last last rosak jua =p

anyway, got to go now, i gotta read so this forced disturbed sleep is worth it.

Did you hear about the morgans?

=)

the characters resemble us so much. perfect.

apart from the divorce and sleeping with other people part, everything is quite similar to our story. i dont know if he noticed it. i hope he did.

and little did he know that, what the girl in the movie said, were the lines i wanted to say so bad. i wanted to say them but im so shy =/

a dream

the other day i went to education at UK with fidah and rina to get some ideas for my career path. it so sad that i cant pursue my ambition because that career require me to have a degree on that area. however they have something closer to it and its good enough for me but it is not a guarantee that i can get it because to get a master scholarship require 2.1, sadih2. with my current result, i doubt it =( can pulang kali, get a job, work for few years, then use own money to go there. but i am 23 now, boring tia kalau tua2 baru tah enjoy kaja. arrghh!! susah2.

what if...

...these feelings are not real?
...these thoughts are purely waste of time?
...my instincts lie?
...this is just a confusion?

i pray to Allah to give me enough signs, enough strength, enough confidence.

everyday its getting stronger. but the stronger it gets, the more confuse i am.

what a waste wang!

i find it funny when a car overtake my car like crazy and we end up meeting once again at the traffic light. felt like waving or do something that indicate, "nah bejumpa jua tani balik wahhh~"

something to ponder

"dont change your personality to please someone you like" (dinnie, 2010)

i paraphrase his sentence lah, hehe. although i have learned this since i broke up, it feels so good to be reminded of it once again and its from dinnie man! bila jua iya pernah bagi advice about love, hahaha. i almost fell to tears, hahaha.

past relationship had taught me a lot although its only for a short period. i have experienced losing myself because i changed myself so much and believe me, half of my form 5 and my college years felt like a dream. i slacked a lot and it was so fortunate i didnt break my parents' heart. it took a while for me to recover and it involved a lot of efforts. i remember reading a book that made me think a lot '101 things you know but keeps on forgetting.' i met lots of people, etc. in short, i did a lot of things just to get my self back, knock some sense in my head.

i know i have changed a lot, but at least i have found my self again. at least, now i do the things i like, i say the stuff i want to say, i dont do the things i hate. i love my self right now. and if ever i be in a relationship once again, i wish myself to never change. amin.

and i thank my family and friends for sticking around, giving advices, and being so supportive in everything i do. i hope our bonds will remain stronger =)

i want to be with you... ♥

i guess i finally know what love really is right now...

although it is so sad if the feelings cannot be expressed, but it might be enough to be closer to the one you love. but sometimes its so embarrassing to be so mental if you know that the one you love is in contact with other people or closer to other people when it used to be only you. it was as if your heart was squashed like a sponge. arghh. haha. antam.

life man~